No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
