Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
