A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
