Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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