I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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