you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together