white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
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Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.