i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.