apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing