the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize