Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've blown a few things in my day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
