Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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