So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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