dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
