She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
