420 ftw
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
