This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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