i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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