she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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