I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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