I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
