Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
