kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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