How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
