i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
