he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
