WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
