Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
