I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you had me at cake vodka
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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