Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
