she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
