idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
