Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
