Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
