he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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