Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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