I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
