Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
