with your own penis?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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