normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
