Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
