Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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