Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
