So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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