is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
