Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize