People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
