she was so not down for the gang bang
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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