Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
