those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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