Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize