Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My penis needs a shock collar
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Floor bacon is actually really good
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
