whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
