i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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