I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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