I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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