The maid of honor just puked.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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