Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
