I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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