the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
