brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
