i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize