she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
